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Thor and Priest Reviews

Alright, I got two new movie reviews today. The first film is the most recent addition to the Marvel universe of films, Thor. If you have read previous posts on this blog, you would know that I love comic book movies. My personal favorite series are the Batman films and the Iron Man films, along with X- Men: The Last Stand. This film is no exception. This film was amazing as a comic book movie. The film was directed by Kenneth Branagh, a wonderful actor and director known for directing many Shakespearean plays adapted to film such as Hamlet and Henry V. I could see some Shakespearean influence in this film as well. The film was completely based around the concept of sibling rivalry. Thor’s father, Odin, is played by Anthony Hopkins, an actor best known for playing Hannibal Lecter in the Silence of the Lambs, the role for which he won Best Actor for. Odin favors Thor and does not seem to care about Thor’s brother, Loki. I can also see a biblical influence in this story. I see an influence from the story of Cain and Abel. There is one brother, Abel who’s place is taken by Thor, who is favored by God, who’s place is taken by Odin. Eventually, Cain decides to kill Abel. Now I don’t know if this story was in the comic books, but I thought it was relatively well done here. The acting in this film was surprisingly good by nearly everyone who was in it.  Chris Hemsworth, a newcomer, is an Australian actor who played Thor. Hemsworth put on a great performance and I am looking forward to seeing him later this year in the remake of the Patrick Swayze classic, Red Dawn. Natalie Portman played a character whose name I can’t remember, but I believe was an important character in the comics. Overall, Thor was a really well made and I am looking forward to seeing The Avengers and a sequel? The other movie I saw was Priest and it was a very… not good movie. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it, but it was bad


Hide and Seek Review

I just watched the 2005 Robert De Niro horror film, Hide and Seek, and it sucks really hard. Now I will say that I enjoyed the performance of Robert De Niro for about the first 45 minutes of the movies. He seemed like the average parent who was grieving over the death of his wife while caring for his daughter who is played by Dakota Fanning. Suddenly the story takes a “shocking” turn when it is revealed in a pretty dumb plot twist. Throughout the entire movie, De Niro’s daughter has an imaginary friend named Charlie. Charlie is basically a psychopath who is forcing De Niro’s daughter to play Hide and Seek. In the plot twist, it is revealed that Robert De Niro is Charlie and he has split personality disorder, similarly to Gollum from The Lord of the Rings. This brings up a lot of questions in my mind. Why didn’t Fanning realize that her imaginary friend was her father? Is she just an idiot who has short term memory loss? Did she really need to brought back to reality by the man who was basically trying to KILL HER? Whatever, the last 45 minutes of the movie is basically Robert De Niro chasing Dakota Fanning around the house and through a cave while some woman tries to make him snap out of his trance. The ending is where Robert De Niro is closing in on Fanning inside the cave when the woman comes out and shoots him. Then in somewhat of another plot twist ending, Fanning lives with the woman now and she is drawing a picture of the two together. She draws herself with two heads to show that she probably has split personality disorder too. I’ll show a clip


A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

This was not the remake that everyone was hoping for. I don’t even know if anyone wanted this movie to be remade as the first is a classic that defined the slasher genre of the 1980’s. The biggest change of this film was the fact that the killer, Freddy Krueger, was not played by Robert Englund who played Freddy for the entire series until this one. He is replaced by Jackie Earle Haley. Yeah, the guy who was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for Little Children. Honestly, seeing this guy in full Freddy makeup or what was supposed to be full Freddy makeup would have been pretty cool. But they made one fatal mistake, Freddy doesn’t look anything like he did in the first movie, he was made to actually look like a burn victim. That’s so goddamn lame! Now I know that Jackie’s Freddy was supposed to be closer to what burn victims who haven’t been treated with scar tissue or skin grafts are supposed to look like. They were obviously trying to make this movie a lot more realistic in tone. But how can you make a film about a killer who comes into people’s dreams and kills them, so they die in real life realistic? This film isn’t supposed to be realistic. Everyone’s first problem with the film is that Freddy lost all of his charm. Freddy, in the first couple movies, was hilarious and would repeatedly make such bad puns that you wanted to hear them over and over again. There’s nothing funny about this Freddy. Actually, Freddy also gains one of my pluses of the film. The backstory of Freddy was amazing! The backstory was that Freddy Krueger was a gardener at the local preschool and was loved by all of the students. Eventually Krueger would take advantage of the fact that the children loved him and became a child molester. Eventually one child, Nancy from the first movie, would tell her parents about the incidents that happened in “Freddy’s Happy Place” which is quite obviously a location that Freddy devised to help him get away with molestation. The parents of the raped children would all find out and would have a cliche mob that looked like something out of a 1950’s B Movie. The parents would find Freddy in his house which they would burn down, subsequently burning Freddy alive and giving him the injuries that would eventually define the character. This was a completely credible backstory that seemed real enough to make the story that was really out there seem believable. Freddy would then die, but would come back through nightmares and murder the children, who are now teens, for letting the secret of his molestation out. My next problem with this film


The Strangers (2008) Review

The Strangers is a film from 2008 and one of the few films of the last 10 years that I actually found to be genuinely frightening. The film follows a newly married couple played by Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman. That’s right, Steven Tyler’s daughter and the dude from Underworld. Anyways, they go to a remote vacation home to attend a friend’s wedding. That night, they are terrorized by three assailants who are unknown and wearing masks.


Unreleased

In 2000, heavy metal superstar, Rob Zombie made an exploitation horror movie entitled House of 1000 Corpses. He struggled to find backing for the film due to the high amounts of gratuitous violence, coarse language and sexual content. This film was finally released to high praise from the heavy metal community in 2003. Zombie created a slew of great characters and eventually created a sequel entitled The Devil’s Rejects which was released to even higher praise than the previous film. There was even an independent campaign to get Bill Moseley, one of the film’s main stars, an Oscar nomination. Why am I telling you this? The reason I am telling you this is that I believe that someone who became a star in one art form can always shine in another. The reason I am talking about this is that I read a few weeks ago that Marilyn Manson, the singer best known for his satanic odes and haunting ballads, would be directing, writing, composing and starring in a film called Phantasmagoria: The Visions of Lewis Carroll. If you don’t know who Lewis Carroll is, then I will give you a rundown. Lewis Carroll was a children’s author who wrote such classic stories as Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass. These stories have been put onto the big screen in films and stage. Carroll was also known as a disturbed and insane man. He was rumored to have been a prime supporter of p*******a.  Carroll was known to be dark and disturbed man. This apparently fascinates Manson and I can see why. Manson would like to paint a portrait of a man who had problems and was deeply scarred.


One Of The Funniest Videos on YouTube

This is a great video by quite possibly one of the funniest videos on YouTube and it’s done by quite possibly the funniest man on YouTube. This video is a gameplay video to the horror game, Amnesia: The Dark Descent which has been hailed as quite possibly the scariest game ever made, next to Silent Hill 2. But, this man has no fear. That man is Cr1tikal who is in my opinion, the funniest man on YouTube.


The Jersey Odysseys: Part I: The Legend of the Blue Hole

In my last post, I talked about a short film that was made by internet sensation, James Rolfe. I mentioned at the end of my Cinemaphobia review that I would be reviewing another one of his films. The one that I chose was the supposed start of a series of short films based on urban legends and myths in New Jersey. This film is the Jersey Odysseys: Part I: The Legend of the Blue Hole. To prepare for this review, I delved into the internet to find information on what the Blue Hole. The Blue Hole is one of the few urban legends I know of that has actually been proven to exist. In Gloucester County, New Jersey, there is a small pool that is about 70 feet in diameter that is called the Blue Hole. It is full of clear, blue water which is strange in itself as almost all lakes and rivers in New Jersey have a murky brownish hue which is because large deposits of bog iron and the large supplies of tannic acid in the area. The Blue Hole was actually a popular swimming site in the olden times until about 1960’s. In the 1960’s, a large and powerful storm wiped out the only bridge that made the Blue Hole accessible. It is still accessible by foot, but it is a very long hike and many people in Gloucester County discourage it with all of the legends surrounding it. There are many legends that are associated with the Blue Hole such as that it is bottomless and that it is freezing cold year round. The most popular one, however,  is that it is the feeding grounds for the Jersey Devil. For those of you who don’t know, the Jersey Devil was a cryptid, or mythical creature, that is legendary in New Jersey. It is said to be like a pterodactyl with hooves. It has become a pop cultural icon in New Jersey, even lending it’s name to the New Jersey Devils, a National Hockey League team based in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Anyways, now that I am finished explaining all about the Jersey Devil and the Blue Hole, let’s get to the main event. The Jersey Odysseys: The Legend of the Blue Hole is about a young man who gives a presentation on UFOs in his college class, but is heckled by his classmates and teachers for wasting his time believing in something that doesn’t exist. Eventually, he recieves a book about the Blue Hole  and sets out to find it. James clearly put a lot of effort into this film and it shows as it is beautifully shot and is well written. Anyways, this film has a great twist ending and is overall very well made. Check it out