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Why Cloverfield is Terrible!

I honestly hate this film for all it’s worth. At first glance, it looks like it might be okay. The trailer made this movie look even better. It was all about suspense. They didn’t show what the monster was or what it’s origins might have been. All you saw was people screaming. This made the movie have a lot of pre- release speculation. Some people thought that it was going to be film based on the works of HP Lovecraft. Some thought that it may be a live action adaptation of the famous Japanese cartoon, Voltron. This theory was solely based on a misinterpreted line from the trailer. The line in the trailers was “It’s alive!” Many people interpreted this line as “It’s a lion!” This sparked speculation that a live action Voltron movie may have been in the works. I heard that it may have been a new film about Godzilla which was highly unlikely as Godzilla was taking a rest from the spotlight as Godzilla: Final Wars had only come out four years before. Although I do hear that there is a new Godzilla project in the works for a 2012 release. I hope it’s better than that Roland Emmerich one that was released in 1998. I mean did he really have to cast Matthew Broderick, Hank Azaria and Yeardley Smith? Let’s get back to Cloverfield, I’m getting off track. I also heard that it may have been a spinoff of Lost! Now I don’t watch Lost, so I have no idea how people could have interpreted the trailer to see as Lost spinoff. The most prominent rumor that I know is that it was going to be called “The Parasite” and be about a space parasite. This is actually probably the closest anyone came to figuring out the real plot. Still, the trailer was also quite controversial for have lots of allusions to 9/11. This was based on the fact that something was destroying New York City. This was also because at one point in the trailer, something flies at the main characters and it ends up being the Statue of Liberty’s head! I thought that that looked so cool the first time I saw it. The movie also used viral ad campaigns to make it look like it was a real disaster happening to real people which I have no idea how they didn’t break down laughing at the fact that they were trying to make the fact that they were being chased by a monster look real. This advertising campaign was similar to ad campaigns put together by the producers of the television show, Lost and the producers of the video games, Halo and Halo 2. Somebody who claimed to be from the production of the movie also posted on some fan site to claim that the monster was actually a mutated humpback whale. Eventually, the film was given many different titles that all changed drastically. The film started out as being called “1-18-08” which I believe was the date that the film was released into theaters. The name was then changed to “Monstrous” which was actually probably the most fitting name for the film. The producers must have thought the film was too serious for that name, so the name was changed to “Greyshot.” This was intended to be the name, but the film was already announced under the name “Cloverfield.” So it stayed under that name. When the film was released, everyone was appropriately appalled at how boring the characters were. The first twenty minutes of this film are the most boring thing ever. Eventually, an explosion goes off in the distance where the Statue of Liberty’s head explodes off and the monster is on the loose! The monster is… just your average monster. Honestly, this monster is very underwhelming as it’s just average. It looks like a sort of… well watch the clip and you can figure it out for yourself!

Well now that you have seen it, you know that it is a terrible monster. It would have been much cooler if their had been a monster that was creative like a Godzilla monster. I feel like they really let the crativity slide. This thing looks like some sort of mutated mouse. The monster does have one really creative aspect about it. It basically bleeds parasites which is pretty badass. It actually kills people with the parasites. I believe that this is what stemmed the theory of “The Parasite.” Overall, a movie that had potential that wasn’t done right. We need more monster movies. What do you think that the monster should have been? Leave your interesting and creative responses in the comments section below or on Facebook or Twitter. Thanks for reading Horrors!




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